5 NUGGETS OF WISDOM FROM A TWO-YEAR OLD

Sometimes, wisdom can come in a small, cute package experiencing the terrific + terrible twos phase. No doubt, there's a feeling of utter joy when you're with kids, and the nephew is no exception. Beyond the fun and games though, the almost-three weeks I spent with this little firecracker during the holidays also taught or reminded me of five key lessons that everyone can apply in life.

1. PUT DOWN YOUR GADGETS WHEN WITH LOVED ONES.

The nephew is a strange fellow - for someone who was born in the tech age, he abhors gadgets! Most of our selfies with him feature him shying away from the camera. He would rather play with his physical toys all day than watch videos on tablets. He can't stand cellphones. Whenever his mom takes out her laptop, he would ask her to put it away. This is especially apparent when the family is together and he would tell everyone, "no phone! no phone!" Pure, unadulterated, internet and social media-free family time is his thing.

It's a good lesson to learn and re-learn given that 99% of the time, we're typing or scrolling away on our smartphones. Conversation has sadly become a lost art, family time has been reduced to a series of selfies and endless scrolling, and we've become a society of social media fiends, lusting after likes, shares, and comments. We are now more predisposed to sharing experiences en masse online vs. in a personal way. And I am very much guilty of this every day. Which is why during the holiday season, I did a (semi) digital detox - internet usage for only 30 minutes a day for 17 days, strictly no gadgets when eating or conversing with loved ones, and only minimal posting. Just because I don't post it on social media doesn't mean the experience is less important and we didn't have loads of fun. The time I usually spend on the internet was reallocated to talking to family members, playing "tada" and "tickle" games with the nephew (or picking up after his toys strewn all over the floor), catching up on my reading, and whiling the days away on several beaches. Not a bad way to use time, don't you think?

2. LEARN TO SAY "NO."

The nephew isn't shy to tell everyone, even his parents, a big NO when he's not comfortable with something, may it be the shoes his yaya put on in the morning, or plans to go out for the day. I guess it also comes with being two - when their personalities start to shine through and they're evolving from babies to toddlers, they become experimental in their responses to gauge people's reactions, but mostly their favorite word is "no," haha!

Humans are hardwired to be people-pleasers, no matter what, to keep themselves within the good graces of others. The hardest thing I had to learn so far was the art of saying no, without sounding like a total bitch or kill-joy, especially on top of my resting bitch face. ;-) Several years back, I was afraid to turn down anyone - especially for social invitations - even if I was exhausted, for fear that I'd have no friends left. I'd have several social engagements in one night, and would hop from one set of friends to another, because I couldn't say no. Later on, saying no was what helped me weed out the true friends from mere acquaintances. True friends understood that I needed alone time, or that I didn't want to go drinking on a Friday night every week, or that I didn't want to do shots or smoke ciggies. In the work environment, it was my previous mentor (shout out to KAYE!) who taught me that we needed to train clients to understand that we can't always say yes to requests for insane timelines and overtimes - we are not merely yes-men as suits. Just because we are expected to service them, doesn't mean we are at their beck and call 24/7. No one's gonna die or start a nuclear war or solve climate change if we advertising folks don't pick up a client call at eleven in the evening on a Sunday night.

3. WHEN YOU ENJOY SOMETHING, DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN.

I'd sing Ice, Ice Baby to him and after the song, he'd gleefully shout out, "AGAIN!" We'd do tickle fights and after several breathless minutes of laughing, he'd squeal "again!" for another round. When he likes something, he will do it over and over again - I'm always amazed at how he can spend hours playing on his own with a boxful of toys and not get bored.

If you love doing something - may it be knitting or rock climbing, do more of it as much as you can, get better at it, nurture it, enjoy it to the fullest, and learn from it. For me, it was the rediscovery of my passion for writing that I focused on in 2015 - I'm still working on finding my voice and constantly improving my style, but the moment I started tapping out an article for my blog, the words just seemed to pour out like it had been waiting for years to unleash themselves. It's like my brain was just waiting for me to write again so it could rediscover what I loved doing since I was a child. I enjoy writing, and I think it likes me back. So like my nephew, I'm going to do it again and again until I run out of stories to tell... which might be a tall order since judging from the number of scheduled posts in my blog, I have 6 months' worth of entries already queued up to be published and I'm still writing new ones! :-)

4. ALLOCATE TIME FOR "DOLCE FAR NIENTE"

Might be possible that my nephew has Italian sensibilities because he truly practices "the sweetness of doing nothing"! He would show, in his own toddler ways (usually a tantrum or a quick "no!"), if he's not up for something that day, or if he's tired and just wants to nap and do nothing. This was a family learning experience - we were in HK, Macau and Bali in 2015 and we quickly learned that we needed to allocate time for doing nothing because there were a few instances when he would profusely refuse to do anything that required him to dress up and leave the house or hotel. There are days when he's happy to stay home.

Same goes for us adults: the mostly self-inflicted "busy" disease is more often than not, a manifestation of our insecurities - fear that we're not going out as much as other people, fear that we're not putting in longer hours than other colleagues at work, fear that we're not as "fun" or "social" as our other friends, fear that having a day or two to unwind will delay our rise to the top, etc... I used to be one of those people who obsessively fills up her social calendar because I thought that staying home on a weekend equated to being a loser and tantamount to social suicide, and filling in timesheets with less than 12 hours of work meant that I wasn't hardworking enough than the rest of my peers. Turns out, I enjoy staying in on weekends doing zilch social activities, learned that working smarter was better than working longer, and that it's okay to take a breather and not be mindlessly busy every goddamn. minute. of. the. day.

5. NEVER BE AFRAID TO EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS.

My nephew is so good at this that it's hard not to forgive him for his toddler tantrums - he can be so stubborn one minute, then so adorably loving the next that he's got everyone in the family wrapped around his little finger. Simply put, when you miss someone, just tell them so. When you need to say sorry, just say so. When you love someone, just say those three words. Life is short, and the one thing that may spell the difference between having lived a life of regrets and a life well-lived are the words that you did or did not say to those who matter the most.

May these wise lessons from my nephew inspire you to lived a life well-lived this 2016!

Happy new year, everyone! x

#listicles #selfdiscovery