FLIRTING IN CUBA

I'm not pretending to be an expert in the topic - but I've come to the personal realization, based on my travels in the region, that Latin and South American men are best at flirting. To be specific about it: Cubans, Argentinians, and Brazilians - in no particular order. Flirting in Argentina and Brazil was an experience in itself but Cuba brought it to a whole other level!

Read this if you're planning to travel to Cuba and you're single & ready to mingle or if you’re simply curious about my and a few other female travel friends’ experiences when it came to flirting with locals (hey, we’re all adults here). ;-) Obviously, every person's experience will be different and I can't guarantee that my understanding of the cultural intricacies are 100% fool-proof... but on hindsight, I wish I was aware of some of these nuances before landing in this magnetic and seriously sexy destination.

Watch out Brazil and Argentina, you've got some serious competition!

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE CUBAN WINK

The moment I landed in Havana's Jose Marti International Airport, I had the most peculiar interactions with locals: they all winked at me! May it be the immigration officer, the vendor I bought bottled water from, and even the lady behind the money exchange booth. Even my a 12-year old boy winked at me during an 8AM breakfast... BREAKFAST!!!! To think I still had crusty eyes at that hour!!

If you know me personally, I'm open-minded about cultural differences. But I guess the Filipino in me started to feel slightly uncomfortable with all the winking as I didn't understand what it meant and in the Philippines, it's considered as a come-on and mostly of the unwanted kind. So I asked a local and learned that it was a normal thing in Cuba. "Like the peace sign," he said. Okayyy.

It can be a sign of agreement, a non-verbal hello, a flirtatious gesture, or a signal to get it on. Now, the Cuban wink is a tricky thing because everyone does it - and when I mean everyone, I mean EVERY. SINGLE. CUBAN: male, female, gender fluid, young, old, single, married, **it's complicated**, they all wink. So how do you know that a wink is plain friendly or a prelude to something else? Well it's simple, as my go-to local taught me: when Cuban men want something, they will let you know. It's up to you to reciprocate, of course. Which leads me to my second point ....

CUBANS ARE DIRECT-TO-THE-POINT

If you're used to the political correctness of most people and the stereotype Pinoy's torpe-ness, then you're in for a surprise. The directness of Cubans in general can take a little getting used to, but I found it immensely refreshing, whether it be in the art of conversation or flirting. 99% of the time (the remaining 1% is for political topics), they don't censor what they say. They say it as it is. Analogies and metaphors are not the best way to communicate with them. Leave your vagueness and motherhood statements at home. If you want something, ask and maybe you shall receive. ;-)

FAMILIARIZE YOURSELF WITH CUBAN SLANG

... Which varies from slangs used in Spain or elsewhere in Central and South America. On my second day, I was eating breakfast and couldn't finish my fruit platter. I asked a Cubano: "Quieres mi papaya?" and it was met with a dumbfounded stare at first, then a second later, full-on laughter. Guffaws, more like it. I had unknowingly asked him if he wanted my ... ermm, vagaygay. YEP. I WAS MORTIFIED. NOPE: BEYONDDDD MORTIFIED.

So friends, educate yourself. Here are some words/phrases that I picked up while there, as taught by a local:

• QUE BOLA - what's up?! Locals greet each other with this instead of "hola!” You’re in Cuba, not Spain.

• FRUTABOMBA - papaya, the fruit. Frankly, this sounds more suggestive…

• PAPAYA – NOT. THE. FRUIT!! DO NOT ask any Cuban if they want your papaya.

• BLUME - panties. I doubt a guy who tells you "Me gusta tu blume" wants to talk about whether you bought them at Victoria's Secret or La Perla. Unless he's into that.

• QUE RICO! - delicious. It's flirtatious. It's suggestive. Add the word "papi" at the beginning, punctuate with a wink, and you're in business. Use sparingly.

• QUE RICA! - girl version

• MAMI, LLEVAME - literally "mommy, take me." Maybe the equivalent of "hey girl, take me home."

• UN MANGON / TREMENDO MANGON - nope, he's not calling you a big mango (what is it with Cubans and fruit?!). He's telling you that you're super hot. "Muy caliente" does not quite cut it in Cuba as in Spain or Argentina. I tried. ;-)

DRESS WELL! BECAUSE CUBANS DO

My first day in, I must have looked like a rabid dog when I asked a local, after seeing a gazillion fit and well-built Cubans in a span of thirty minutes: "do ALL Cuban men work out?!?" **mouth agape**

The bemused local explained that Cubans in general take good care of themselves and they pay a lot of attention to their appearance. You'd think that for a country where basic necessities are hard to come by and have to be bought off the black market at times, people would compromise on their vanities. Quite the contrary!

I noticed that numerous Cuban (millennial) men were sporting the "El Yonki" hairstyle - named after Cuban Reggaeton artist Alejandro “El Yonki” Santoya. The maintenance for that hairstyle is more than what the average Cuban can afford. Majority of Cubans have nice teeth, too, because dental care is free for all citizens. They would rather go hungry than spend less on toiletries, hygiene items, and clothes that look good on them.

The style of dressing seems to be: if it's tight, it's right. Applies for both men and women. I don't think I've ever seen this many tight shirts & tight pants combo beyond the hallowed halls of Tantric! No matter what shape, size, color, and age you are, bust out those tube tops and slinky dresses. Love those curves! Cubans don't judge what you wear vis-a-vis your body type. They're similar to Brazilians, in my POV: anything goes - it's all about confidence in yourself and in your own body. They wear their sensuality on their sleeves; they are not ashamed of it nor do they hide it. I love how they celebrate their sexiness en masse. They are effortlessly and unapologetically sexy and that, in itself, is HELLA HOT.

PDA IS EVERYWHERE SO GET USED TO IT

Having stayed at a casa particular that had sweeping views of El Malecon, I witnessed this day and night. The popular seaside boulevard is teeming with young and not-so young adults making out, hugging, touching, and who-knows-what-else. Especially in the cover of darkness.

I sneaked out with two twenty-something Habaneros in the middle of the night to check out the scene at Vedado's Fabrica de Arte Cubano or F.A.C - the current epicenter of modern nightlife in Cuba. It's both a club and an arts studio where locals and travelers alike mingle in a space that would not look out of place in cosmopolitan cities like New York, Singapore, or London. Maybe it was the tita in me, but it was a bit jarring at first to see couples outright making out, un mate, in every available space! When the music changed to Reggaeton, all hell - or should I say, sexual inhibitions - broke lose and everyone started to gyrate & grind against each other with nary a breathing space in between their bodies. For those who are not familiar, Reggaeton songs contain explicit lyrics and the dancing has been described as "sex on the dancefloor.” Google it.

Image: Tripadvisor

As one Cubano commented: "I'd be offended if a guy danced reggaeton instead of salsa with my girlfriend." You get the picture.

Speaking of dancing....

CUBAN MEN DO SALSA EXTREMELY WELL

Red-blooded males. Full-on straight. Dancing. Leading. Moving those hips. What's not to love? They were born to salsa! None of that dancing-is-for-sissies nonsense! My rookie mistake was to ask a Cubano: "so tell me, can you dance salsa?" He replied by dancing expertly to the strains of "Guantanamera" in the cramped bar area of La Bodeguita del Medio. POINT TAKEN.

Salsa can just be salsa or a prelude to a flirtation. Same as the Cuban wink, at first it can be tricky to tell for sure if he just wants to show off his dance skills or otherwise. One minute, he'll kiss your hand like a true gentleman after a dance and the next, he's asking to walk you back to his casa....

The amazing thing about Cuba is that DANCE IS LIFE: locals salsa everywhere - may it be in the middle of a restaurant with no actual dance floor, on the side streets in Habana Vieja, along the Malecon, or even inside a moving bus! You can approach a Cubano and invite him to salsa with you. Reminder: directness is a norm in Cuba. One night at Vinales' Patio Central Cultural Polo Montañez, I noticed that Cuban men who were on the prowl for salsa partners stood on one side of the dancefloor, scanning the room for potentials. A lot of women actually went up to them to ask for a dance! Tu bailas? They would happily oblige to do one salsa song and then go back to their spot if they don't fancy the woman in that way. Otherwise, they'd salsa the night away and take it from there. It was fascinating to watch. I thought it was simply great that Cuban women were not shy at all to initiate a dance with a man. Doormats not allowed.

One rule in Cuban salsa to remember (I always got playfully reprimanded because I keep forgetting!): "The man ALWAYS leads the dance. You can lead in other things...." AYYYY PAPI, CON MUCHO GUSTO!! ;-)

MENTAL FOREPLAY IS A THING

And it's SO. DAMN. HOT.

Have Cuban men perfected this art? Maybe. You might disagree. They can charm the pants off any woman. A simple "nos vemos” can be suggestive when paired with a wink and a naughty smile. A short salsa dance can sweep you off your feet. The way they insist on putting a cigar on your lips with their own fingers seem vaguely risqué. Double besos with kissy noises on each cheek can be a tantalizing experience. When they call your name out from below your balcony to reenact a scene from Romeo & Juliet – no matter how cheesy that sounds, you’d be thinking to yourself that romance is not dead. Along with chivalry – when they graciously offer to walk five steep stairwells up and down your building every time they pick you up and bring you home. Whispering sweet–nothings in your ear with that Cuban accent will send shivers up & down your spine – doesn’t matter if you speak Spanish or not, it’s your very own Lost in Translation moment. And when they look into your eyes with those deep, puppy eyes as though you’re the only woman in the entire world, oh boy – you’re in trouble. Big time.

Have fun but be safe! ;-)

And happy travels, always! x

#Cuba