THE FIRST-TIMER'S GUIDE TO SOLO TRAVEL

Numerous people have asked me what steps they need to take so they can dive headfirst into their first-ever solo adventure and they always inundate me with similar questions and thoughts: Am I gonna be lonely? Is it dangerous- especially for solo women? Will I make any friends? How do I get around? Omg, you are SOOOO brave!

True, not everyone prefers to travel on their own and any type of travel has its pros and cons - but I do highly recommend to try it even once in your life. I can explain for days on end why I prefer to be a solivagant, chat your ear off on the merits of independent travel, and wax poetic about the beauty of exploring the world on your own, but I think it'd be more helpful if I provide a few tips for the nervous first-timer to help with those travel jitters. Who knows, this post might inspire you to book that solo trip, STAT!

First solo European adventure! 2009 - Prague, Czech Republic

1. PICK THE RIGHT DESTINATION

Of course, it all depends on what country you're most interested in visiting for the first time or whether you're ready to travel far or close to home. Obviously, I wouldn't recommend a trip to Papua New Guinea on the first try (it's extreme for most, not just in travel circles, but even for scientists!) or even Syria for obvious reasons. For solo travel newbies wanting a grand adventure, I strongly recommend Western Europe - my very first solo travel destination was Italy. The tourism infrastructure is so well-established that it's practically a crime to say you're having trouble going around this culturally-rich continent. The likes of France, Germany, Italy, Spain, The Netherlands, all the way to Scandinavia ... all have impressively efficient transportation systems, residents more often than not speak English, safety is a non-issue, low cost flights are everywhere, and there are lively travel hubs and solid communities of solo travelers scattered around its major cities. It is almost always the most comfortable choice for neophytes.

Easy-breezy France!

2. DECIDE ON A COMFORTABLE TIME FRAME

For starters, you can do a weekend or 3-day short trip within your own country to get your solo travel confidence going. If you're looking at a first major trip abroad, two weeks would the minimum I would say, to get an ROI on those pre-flight expenses like visas and vaccinations. Bang for buck for that flight, too. Some first-timers dive headfirst into a full-on gap year, but if that's not your thing, then don't force yourself. There's no shame in admitting that your first solo travel was one or a few hours away from home on a weekend!

3. STAY IN HOSTELS

Hostels are a must for every solo adventure - they are the absolute best places to stay in when on your own for the first time. Heck, they are at the HEART of TRAVEL ITSELF. They're easy on the budget, more social vs. big-name hotels, and you get to hang out with people who have the same interests as you. You meet friends your age, younger, and older. On my first-ever hostel stay in Prague, I met two new friends from the US and Australia and those ladies adopted me into their crew. I met people - A LOT of them, in all shapes, genders, and cultural backgrounds. I gained a myriad of travel insights and tips from better-traveled peers. I took meals with one set of friends, went on a walkabout with another, partied with fresh recruits to our group, met with a few others in a new destination, etc. So there's your answer to the "lonely" myth.

Meeting new friends in dodgy alleys outside my hostel in Munich :) We hung out because he liked my leather jacket, haha!

4. PICK THE RIGHT GEAR & PACK ACCORDINGLY

Two of the most important things for the first-timer, in my POV: luggage and shoes. Buy what you're most comfortable with - they will be your companions for the duration of the trip or even beyond that - may it be a rollie or backpack, sneakers, ballet flats or Toms. They can make or break your trip. Break in new shoes properly and know how to dress up according to local customs so you don't stick out like a sore thumb. Those shoes should definitely be made for walking: you will walk, run, climb, get lost in them. I once wore expensive leather shoes while in Rome because you know, I wanted to be as "chic" as the Italians, and the first day in, a huge downpour made them irreversibly unusable.

#RIP, expensive leather shoes

Know your limits in terms of carrying your own luggage: I learned this the hard way when halfway thru my South America trip, I was cursing my backpack - I could barely carry it because I brought too much stuff to begin with and started piling on the purchases along the way. In Italy where most B&Bs and hostels did not have elevators, I was cursing my rollies because I couldn't carry it on my back all the way to the 3rd, 4th, 5th floor. I won't go into detail on what you should bring because a simple Google search will turn up several helpful ultimate packing lists.

Hostel shenanigans!

5. FAMILIARIZE YOURSELF WITH THE DESTINATION BEFORE LEAVING

This is the easiest thing you can do to help avoid being a nervous wreck. Google is your best friend. You can do three things prior to jetting off:

• Plan your itinerary to a T. This is where my obsessive-compulsive behavior kicks in. I have a helpful excel sheet that I populate with pertinent travel details such as flight time, hotel addresses, emergency contacts, everyday activities, day to day directions, etc. Before I leave, I send that sheet to trusted family members and friends so they know where I am at any given time and it also serves as my guide for the entire trip. That's all I bring - no guidebooks whatsover on hand. I am seriously lost without it. Despite having a detailed plan though, I do allocate time for rest and getting (responsibly) lost - but the latter is probably more for travelers on their second or so jaunt. ;-)

• Read up! Books can take you to your destination even before you've set foot in it; I wrote about it on this post. Know the culture, the do's and don'ts of a place - never assume that Western or your local customs will be the same everywhere - even the ubiquitous "thumbs up" can send the wrong message in a few countries. Tune in to the news: CNN, BBC, Al Jazeera - go beyond BuzzFeed and Facebook so you know the destination's current events. Ask travel bloggers who have been to the destination for tips & tricks or send them a personal message and list down questions for them.

• Learn the language. Not asking you to take a semester of foreign language classes (though that's awesome, too!) - just know key phrases that will help you get by: hello, good morning / afternoon / night, thank you, help, yes / no, where's the toilet, how much, one / two / three, I don't speak (foreign language). In Paris - which is unfairly notorious for its snobbish residents - I spoke a few French phrases and I have to say I've never met a rude Parisian - locals are more helpful & friendlier if they see that you've taken the effort to learn about their ways of living, regardless if your pronunciation of a word is correct or not! ;-)

I wouldn't have known about the eccentric yet strangely beautiful Vigeland Scuplture Park without research!

6. DON'T BE AFRAID TO TRUST PEOPLE

Yes, the world is a dangerous place and you should definitely maintain common sense and awareness of your surroundings wherever you are. But the world is also full of good, well-meaning people. More often that not, you will meet kindred spirits: total strangers who will offer you a helping hand without thinking twice (everywhere), dormmates who will ask you to team up with them on a city adventure (Amsterdam), seatmates who will rewrite your itinerary for you so get the best insider tips from someone who's been there (Brazil), booklovers who will lend you their reading materials for the flight ahead (Bali), locals who will invite you for meals in their very own houses (Peru), off-duty tourguides who will walk you home even if it's in the opposite direction of theirs just to ensure you arrive safely (Berlin), swimmers who will take your hand while snorkelling since they know you can barely do a backstroke even if your life depended on it (Great Barrier Reef), couples who will offer you a taxi ride for free so you don't get lost in a new city where you don't speak the local language fluently (Cusco), fellow travelers who will give you their full home address so you can stay with them if you ever pop by in their country (Sri Lanka), store owners who will give you a free treat just because you're nice to them (Istanbul). Sure, I have encountered unsavory characters while abroad, but I prefer to delight in the kindness of strangers and help decimate the myth that traveling alone (as a woman, as most people would say - which I hate) is a more dangerous business than anything else in this world.

Going out is a breeze even if you're traveling solo - grab a crew and just have fun! Taken in Berlin, Germany.

Strangers turned friends: Amsterdam, 2011. I kept in touch with Marta (beside me) and we met again in Rio de Janeiro, 3 years after!

7. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

I surmise most people think that I decided to travel solo out of some life-changing, earth-shattering shit, but the truth is - I started traveling alone because well, at the time I was ready to embark on my first-ever adventure to Europe, none of my friends were available. It was borne out of need and of course, this insatiable itch to achieve my travel goals. I wasn't going to let the lack of travel companions deter me from achieving them - rather, my circumstance at that time forced me to believe that yes, I can do this on my own. As they say, necessity is the mother of invention - or in my case, self-belief.

I wasn't as confident in dealing with embassies, consuls, and immigration at that time - I would momentarily be paralyzed with fear that border guards wouldn't let me in because I was a single female traveler with a "third-world" passport. I had several scenarios from the movie, Taken, playing in my head the entire time I was in the plane. Believe me when I say that it took a lot of self pep-talks to push myself to book that trip. It was more of a "fake it till you make it" scenario vs. a "look at me, independent & worldly woman conquering the world on her own." There is no magic formula.

Put it this way: if you've taken public transport before, you can probably tackle Tokyo's subway system. If you've dealt with a sibling, a salesperson, a friend etc. before, then you're a-okay for engaging with people you will meet on a trip. If you've ever negotiated with a parent, a teacher, a boss, or an authority figure before, then you can deal with immigration officers and consuls with aplomb. If you've ever walked or driven from place to place in your hometown, then you're ready to tackle street directions in Paris. #NBD.

Traveling solo is like taking a #SELFIE: the more you practice it, the better you get at it! ;-)

8. IT'S NOT AS HARD AS YOU THINK

Perhaps the most important tip on this list. When I hear people exclaiming that I'm "soooo brave" to travel alone, I would say: defending your country in hostile territory is brave, battling cancer is brave, Malala standing up for education even when she got shot is brave. Some also say: omg, it MUST be SO HARD to travel alone! My answers: searching for the "god" particle in the hadron collider is hard, solving climate change is hard, surviving in a warzone is hard. See what did there? #PERSPECTIVE.

My intent is not to downgrade solo female travel, rather, I want people to think of it as NORMAL: it's not an extraordinarily brave thing to do and not particularly hard. I used to be one of those people who stared wide-eyed at solo female travelers and put them on a pedestal for bravery ... Until I stayed in a hostel and met women from all walks of life and in different life stages who have been doing it for years and years now; I'm just a late addition to the bandwagon. If thousands of women before us can do it, and if I can do it, SO CAN YOU!

Packing yet? I hope you are! :)

HAPPY (SOLO) TRAVELS! x

#TipsTricks